Wife Behind the Fire's Kitchen Table question for the week:
Do you hang with other firefighter wives locally? Would you like to or do you like to keep life separate?
I don't, really. My firefighter works over an hour away, so hanging out with his coworkers' wives isn't really an option. It makes it hard for both of us to go to all the events, ceremonies, etc, as well. Sometimes I admit I'm a little jealous of those who live close enough to get together more often, to have formed friendships, and especially those who can just pop by the station. I wish!
He does volunteer locally, but as I have two young children and don't drive, I haven't been able to be around the station much to get to know any of the wives/girlfriends there. They have live-ins, so there seems to be many more girlfriends than wives anyhow, and so we're just at a different place in life. If my hubby and I do go there together, it would mean he'd either not be able to go on a call, or my kiddos and I would be stuck at the station (though, I have to say, I hate that it seems like I might be unsupportive by not being there with him...but, I am there FOR him at home with our children).
On top of that, as I've mentioned before, I'm SHY. I'm also a pretty textbook introvert. Lovely combination. I'm a watcher. A wallflower. I can write for days, but actually talking? I'm not so good at. It doesn't make any sense to me, but it is what it is. It's not that I won't talk to you, but you will probably have to talk to me first and pull me out of my shell. He's been at this volunteer station since 2008, and has been a career firefighter since 2009, and I've been to both stations so little that I feel awkwardly uncomfortable at any of their functions.
I would LOVE to have other wives locally to hang out with, wives who get it, who understand. That would be amazing. Being shy/introverted doesn't mean I'm anti-social. I'm just...selectively social and need more downtime. :) I absolutely recognize that in this lifestyle you need a support system. So, lacking the local friends, I turned to the 'net. I've been a member of some really great groups of lovely wives, who are always just a click away.
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The introvert thing is a hard one to break if you don't get around the dept much. I know when he was a volunteer we did the annual christmas party and halloween with the kids. I'd stop by the station at times so I knew some of the guys, but wives? NOPE. It just wasn't that kind of dept.
ReplyDeleteAsk hubby to help in this area. If there is just one other couple that you could meet up for dinner (have over) a couple of times a year it would help you so much. It would make events more fun just to know that one other wife there.
I'm at least glad you found us online!
Oh My.....I NEVER realized it until now....I just might be an introvert????? (slap cheeks) I am with you sister-> a people watcher though I call it "observing". Sometimes I observe so much that I get labeled as "stuck up" =0(
ReplyDeleteI agree with Val your Hubs is the best one to help you out in this area. Maybe one of the local wives will become a part of on of the great groups and break the shell that way? Are any of them your FB friends?
I bet if you were in a room with those of us you already know "virtually" you'd be okay!! Love ya, Girlie! PS- I rarely hang out with other wives IRL. Y'all are my first choices :)
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